Happiness after a relationship break-up?

It seems absurd that one can think about happiness just after a relationship break up, right? 

The thing with a relationship break-up is that it leaves you in such a state that you hardly have the strength to go on with your life. Fact is, relationship break-ups can leave you shattered and lifeless.  Your sense of purpose and inspiration vanish.  It leaves you ‘not knowing’ what to do with yourself.

This kind of thinking doesn’t serve you at all.  Yes, a relationship break up or divorce ( either one is just as emotionally painful as the other), can be difficult to recover from, however you can bounce back from it.

Here are some simple steps to help you see things more clearly.

1.  Rather than view your break-up as the end, see it as an opportunity for a new beginning in your life.

2.  Cry or grieve if you must ( and I know in some cases this can be part of a healing process), however do not dwell on it for too long.  Learn to accept what is and that no amount of crying will change anything.

3.  Begin to list the things you have in your life that you are grateful for.  Often when relationships break up, it seems that all your happiness walked out the door.  Not so!  Look around you and take a sincere look at what blessings you still have in your life.

4.  Find tools you can use to help overcome your loss.  Meditation, visualisation, affirmations.  These are all effective tools to help you re-focus and help you regain your sense of inner peace, a sense of balance and harmony.

5.  Do not go looking for ‘happiness‘ in another relationship.  Learn that inner happiness comes firstly from within you.  It is an illusion that your happiness can only be delivered by someone outside of yourself.  It just doesn’t work that way.

6.  If you want to move on with your life, you need to move beyond any past hurt, anger, resentment that you may have toward your former partner or spouse.  Harboring any of these negative emotions only serve to keep  you stuck in the past.

7.  Begin to list all the things that bring you happiness and joy right now that is already present in your life.  focusing on what does make you happy, the things you already have that brings a smile to your face or makes you laugh, will help bring more of the same toward you.  This is the Law of Attraction in action. What you focus on is what you attract more of.

8.  Make time for yourself.  Learn to accept and enjoy doing things on your own.  Learn to love the pleasure of your own company. 

We live in a world where there is a great deal of emphasis on doing things with others, and when you do not have a significant other to do things with, you feel it is ‘unnatural’  and unusual.  Quite the contrary.  I discovered a whole new world quite some years down the track after my own divorce that it was sheer fun to go out and eat dinner alone.

I had no one tell me what I should or should not order, which kind or restaurant I ought to pick to dine at, what time I should eat, what I should wear or what time I should be home.  I had no pressure and  I quite simply had a ball! 

9.  Find something you absolutely love doing, be it reading, painting, playing music, singing, gardening, sewing, knitting, playing sport, studying, bike riding, jogging or anything else that you love doing.  Re-directing your energy in this way as opposed to laying on the lounge under a blanket wallowing in misery is a far better option and will lead to a more positive and happier outcome.

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